The Ouroboros Reacharound
by Heraclod
Summary: The adventures twelve children and a temporally-displaced hero have with a demon and a sisterhood. Crossover with Dune, Homestuck, and Samurai Jack.
1. Do the prologue thing

Welp. Samurai Jack belongs to Genndy, Homestuck to Hussie, and Dune to Herbert. Read, review, and enjoy. Or not. In that case, then hate it.

* * *

><p><em>Aku goes as far back as human history. He has outlived the oldest man, out-thought the most adept Mentat, and out-maneuvered even the greatest of the Houses in the Lansaraad. But it begs the question as to why he would create the Lansaraad, the Guild, or even the Bene Gesserit himself. He makes no effort to disguise his distaste for humankind. And why does he allow us to keep our worthless existence? He needs us in order to validate his power.<em>

_-_Reverend Mother Daeymah in a private speech to the Sisterhood.

Across a relatively empty field stepped a black cloaked figure. Only a booth made of hexagonal glass patterns stood out in the field with her. Its ornate symmetry seemed to belie a nature far more sinister than any human indecency could imagine.

Repeating the litany against fear over and over, the figure drew closer to the building. She realized as soon as she entered, she might not return again. Yet, she knew to place the aims and concerns of the Bene Gesserit above her own. If anything, what she might endure would hopefully be nothing like the trials of the spice agony. Acting with no hesitation, she stepped in.

Without wasting more than a second she found herself in an altogether different location, millions of light years beyond Chapterhouse, the seat of the Bene Gesserit. No, this planet, a planet of blackened steel, cruel noise, and ruthless commerce, was entirely different. His planet.

Exiting the booth, his place of rest stood only a few feet away. Even with the years of Bene Gesserit training, there grew the beginnings of hesitancy within her. However, she quelled it with the litany as she approached. Surrounding the hell-black fortress, many creatures floated half-alive, regarding her with disinterest. From the ground pieces of obsidian jutted obscenely. But the worst was yet to come. Already as she came to the entrance, an intense red heat radiated out, almost unbearable to those with little self-control. But she made no hesitation as she entered.

The room looked simple—ornate obsidian with an extremely hot cavern in the middle. The only moment she ever hesitated was when she stepped onto the precipice over the cavern. The cavern, which spanned hundreds and perhaps thousands of miles, contained the one which brought even the most trained Bene Gesserit sister close to fear.

Looking down, down into the abyss, she cleared her throat. With a simple noise the whole gaping hole trembled mightily. It was much too late for her now, she knew as she bowed her head. From the depths a black-within-black figure towered. The entire fortress echoed with the rumble of his arrival. But of course the worst was the creature's gargantuan head. Jutting antler-like structures branched from his skull. Below them were the only parts of the creature not that hideous black. Eyebrows of flame danced over red eyes which appeared glazed with the look of one with infinite patience. His green, fanged mouth with an equally flaming beard frowned with an expression that even a Reverend Mother could only place between displeasure and calculation.

His voice, an accent belonging to a tongue long dead perhaps, boomed out, " Who is it that dares to trouble I, the shogun of sorrow, the master of darkness Aku?"

She bowed, the litany repeating in her mind. Her voice remained clear, "The Reverend Mother Daeymah. I wished to report on the test of the space fold."

His eyes narrowed, "And you thought it a matter that you, a Reverend Mother, required to tell I Aku, the mighty sorcerer personally?"

With a brief pause he added, "Your eagerness to report this success troubles me. Soothsayer!"

On cue a wizened crone with spidery hair bearing the same robes as Daeymah stepped forward, saying, "Yes, mighty and great Aku?"

"The Reverend Mother herself brings me news of the success of space folding experiment, news which I Aku no doubt would have received in no time."

The Soothsayer nodded her head patiently, "Do you not consider it pleasant news?"

"Yes, pleasant." Aku eyed the Reverend Mother suspiciously, "Tell me again. Did the craft fold space as I the great Aku planned?"

With only a couple second's worth of pause Daeymah reiterated, "The space fold was successful and went without any complications."

Aku turned to his trusted soothsayer. She spoke in her cracked, dry voice, "She lies. She knows there were complications involved with the test."

The demon's eyes furled in a glare, "And what were these complications you foolishly attempted to hide from the great Aku, Reverend Mother Daeymah?"

"The ship…"she felt as if she was reciting her death sentence, "the ship was lost…we don't know where."

The Soothsayer nodded to Aku, "Another lie. She knows exactly what happened to the ship."

Oh, this time the shapeshiftng master of darkness moves down to the Reverend Mother's level, clearly enraged, "FOOL! You dare defy the great Aku? I shall give you one chance to tell me where this craft has gone."

She simply shakes her head, "I cannot tell you in good confidence."

The demon rears his head up, "Then you have earned your right punishment, insolent fool. Sadly, you shall not live to see the consequences of your insolence."

From his eyes burst two beams of light, headed straight towards Daeymah. She didn't even bother to move out of the way. In seconds Aku reduced the head of the Bene Gesserit to a pile of smoldering dust.

Aku shifted to his Soothsayer, who remained emotionally detached from the whole affair. He bent down to her, "What great treachery to Aku! You have done I the shapeshifting master of darkness a great service, Soothsayer Gaius Helen Mohiam. For repayment I shall make you Reverend Mother of the Bene Gesserit order. "

She bowed with an obscure smile, "May we continue to bring converts to the great and mighty Aku, master of all."

"Yes. However, I Aku must find this missing craft. Obviously the Reverend Mother planned to go escape the empire of the all-powerful Aku. Fools! They know not that Aku's empire is the universe itself! Now, my trusted minion, you must go to the Chapterhouse and tell of the traitor's demise. That way we may reveal all other traitors."

"I shall not fail. All of the Bene Gesserit order shall belong to the great Aku."

"Do not tell me what I know is destined to be. Now I Aku must attend to my own matters as you yours. Go!"

She smiled as she walked back to the booth, back to Chapterhouse.

In the more populated parts of Chapterhouse, a place reserved for training of sisters, another Bene Gesserit waited as she walked up to the balcony.

"She's dead," the stranger said.

"Yes," the new Reverend Mother replied, "Just as we planned."

"And now our base of operations will be crawling with Aku's spies and informants."

"What happens on this planet is of little concern to us now. Aku may have near limitless power but his attention is easily diverted, like a child's. The only thing which kept his interest for so long has been the warrior of no home."

"And what are we to gain from him destroying and monopolizing a vital form of space travel?"

The Reverend Mother looked out over the balcony, "Monopolies are never effective. The only true effective monopolies are those of resources. Others will break Aku's infallible monopoly of space travel in due time. No, folding space was never our priority, only a ruse."

"Then what priority required the sacrifice of a key Reverend Mother?"

"As sisters personal sacrifice is required of us. Daeymah understood. We need his attention focused while we attend to our true program."

"You mean…the Kwisatz Haderach?"

"On a distant planet, a cult prophesizes the appearance of two musical messiahs on a paradise world. This cult believes a boy of a near-extinct race may be one of these messiahs. A boy named Makara. From our reports, he has the makings of the Kwisatz Haderach, or the potential to produce one. However, his actual location is on one of twelve possible planets, our sources aren't entirely sure."

"But he would be in the breeding records, would he not?"

"He would were he human. However, his species may be close enough to breed with our kind. This ruse will give us enough time to secure him and another unharmed. Both are great assets to the Sisterhood."

"Another?"

"One who has kept this so-called invincible Aku's attention for so long," she stepped down the flight of stairs, "Summon Jessica. Our preparations must be made."

She bowed before going on her way, "of course, your reverence!"

Wheels within wheels, plans within plans spun once again. For millennia the great Aku has used the Bene Gesserit Sisterhood as a tool of spreading the faith of Aku across countless stars. And in turn, the Bene Gesserit twisted the faith of Aku's 'believers' towards their ultimate goal—the Kwisatz Haderach, a universal super-being. For countless centuries both master of darkness and Sisterhood has manipulated the spice mélange on the planet Arrakis, hoarding it only for themselves. Soon, soon, the Sisterhood's plans would come into motion. _The spice must flow…_


	2. Become Aku

Gah, I really really feel bad for neglecting this. I've been out of town for a couple weeks and still that doesn't excuse my idiocy. However, I promise to be more dedicated to updating this as I feel sorry for my neglect. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>You cannot become aku. There is only one master of darkness, only one shogun of sorrow. Your attempt to become me is foolish!<p>

However, I will humor your persistence with a tale of my own. No doubt you heard of the witches traitorous plot against aku. Even some will remember of the samurai who ages ago challenged me and failed. Both will be dealt with in time.

First, I the shapeshifting master of darkness, the emperor of all space, will tell you another story, one that takes place before the foolish samurai's arrival to the time when my evil is rule. Listen! As soon as I had sent the samurai to the future, I aku the shapeshifting master of darkness took over the world. So easily did I conquer the planet that it was not enough for the great aku. So, with my great powers I spread my evil across the universe, bringing planet after planet to bow before their master aku,

Yet some dared to resist the rule of the great aku. An empire which attempted to rival that of aku on a distant world called Alternia. Bloodthirsty and merciless this empire was a mercilessness that could rival aku. And as I swept to conquer their world, they did not bow before their master, a grave mistake. They put up a might challenge, but even the greatest soldiers of the Alternian empire could not match the might of aku. With one swift blow, I crushed their foolish insect world, ending their miserable lives.

Underneath the fire of my evil, Alternia perished. All, save twelve. With my mighty powers I plucked twelve grubs from their home world and spread them across the galaxy, light years between each world.

But do not mistake my actions for mercy. For one day, I the great Aku will call them to their destiny. For this tale I shall impart is the tale of how I Aku crushed these insignificant insects and sent them to their deaths.

But what does the samurai warrior have to do with all this, you may ask? Foolish humans, the samurai was a vital part of my plan, the first step to the path of destruction to the Alternian's doom and their final extinction. Listen and you shall hear how the samurai and the Alternian's began the path to their doom…

become Samurai Jack

You are samurai jack. You are the star of a successful series on cartoon network, but you don't know that and you never will.

Once you were just a simple samurai child and not jack. That is, until aku decimated your village and sent you to the future where the evil you attempted to defeat now ruled an empire of loud noises where people jump really good. On arriving, people called you Jack and the name stuck. You wandered all over the changed earth, seeking a way back to the past, the past before aku. You've had many adventures which last around twenty to thirty minutes. You've met made many friends and more enemies. You even learned to jump really good. Remember that? That was kick-ass. The fans agree.

I you could, you'd shed manly tears, but you don't. You continue your quest to your own time, irregardless. That's the way it goes. You would say "keep on trucing", but it is a phrase from a time before and after your own. Besides, what is a truck? And what does it have to do with 'hippies'? You ponder the significance of trucks and how the thought even came to your head (obviously you are not savvy enough to break the fourth wall.) These times are strange indeed.

You look out to the empty waste from your campfire, taking a break from your epic quest. A tilt of the glass and a few gulps from a cup, you quench your thirst. It has been a long trek and you deserve a break tonight, a break to watch the numerous stars.

You think you could fool yourself this once that you're actually home in your own time, before the noise and insanity of Aku's empire. You try to pretend, but you cannot. You find yourself still here, in body and mind. The crushing sadness is almost enough to make you cry manly tears. Almost. You never cry.

The night air blows quietly as you enjoy your campfire. Maybe this will be one of those nights where you can get some sleep.

The ground rumbles and a black-in-black shape bursts from the ground, ripping a giant crater In the waste before you. Looks like you were wrong. Seems to happen to you a lot.

Looks like instead of sleep you'll pull out your holy magic sword. Turns out to be the only thing that can harm Aku. If it turns out to be Aku, there'll be much demon harming to do.

And you find it is Aku as he rears his flaming eyebrows and antlered head to your face. His sneer you find annoying.

"Samurai," he challenges you, "Too long I have let you live out your worthless life on this planet, in MY domain! You have decimated army after army, minion after minion. And now it appears we have reached a stalemate."

You strike your defensive pose because that's what samurais do, "It is no stalemate for it is your evil that will be defeated one day, Aku!"

After giving such a strong monologue, the demon throws himself back, laughing, "BAHAHAHAHA! Fool! A stalemate does not imply the end of Aku! For I the shapeshifiting master of darkness will ultimately triumph!"

You sidestep the demon, sword at the ready. You swear there's gonna be some holy demon smack-down. However, you aren't hip enough to know the lingo so you simply reply, "Boast all you like, but you have found no way to defeat me or this sword! And as long as both exist, there is still hope!"

Aku waves a hand at your foolishness, "Bah! Enough of this talk! It is time I have crushed you, samurai!"

His claw comes to you before you roll out of the way. Now is fighty time. This is it. Here's the final battle between evil and good. You're not sure if you'll

win this fight, but you must do it anyway. For your father, for your fallen kingdom, for earth.

With your mystic sword you slash at the oncoming master of darkness. He uses his shapeshifting powers, as usual.

Both of you engage in the most trying combat of your lives. His magic demonic powers pit themselves against your magic sword, almost neither yielding.

You hack and slash, making a mark in the so-called great Aku…

He leaves cuts, bruises, and burns in you as well…

But as the time passes, you find his attacks more desperate, plodding…

And soon you find him weakened, returning to his original form…

You raise your sword over him, ready to make an end of it all here…

But Aku inches back, "You will not defeat the great Aku! You have proven yourself a nuisance, samurai!"

He grabs you with ease, holding you over…you really should've seen that portal coming, huh?

He gloats, "No longer will you trouble me, warrior. Now will you be lost in time, but you will be lost in space! BAHAHAHAHA!"

You find yourself falling, falling into the same predicament as before. What fresh hell will he send you now? You have no choice to counter his black magic with the rebuttal, "AKUUUUUUUUUU-!"


End file.
